You know which wines go best with which foods, and
you can make New York City's finest sommalier
feel like a kid at a keg party. You wanna take
that Emeril guy and beat him with a stick, but
really - you've got more class than that.
What people love: You know the best restaurants and
what their specialties are.
What people hate: Every waiter in town wants to
mangle your pretentious ass.


What Kind of Elitist Are You?
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There are two types of business that thrive in the Shoals (Florence, Sheffield, Tuscumbia, and Muscle Shoals, Alabama) - check cashing places and dollar stores. The residents see this as progress - any time the storefronts are filled, even if it is with detritus, they get excited. But dollar stores and check-cashing establishments are the last gasps of a dying economy. You do not find those kinds of places in dynamic, growing areas.

The City of Florence has done nothing to stop the decline of the area. They spend millions on incentives for new business, thereby erasing most of the positive revenue that business can bring.

Dollar stores and check-cashers. These are the vultures that prey on the carcass of a town.

While the Texas hurricane response is certainly more orderly, impressive, and generally smoother, they seem to be overly excited at the prospect of the Feds coming in as soon as the winds die down. The federal government is not supposed to be a first responder. It is not supposed to be The Leader in times of a statewide crisis. Why are newscasters gleefully reporting that Bush is holed up in Colorado Springs, waiting to spring into action at the first "all-clear?" What the heck is he going to do? Pass out blankets and debit cards?

The state government has a chance to be heroic, to fulfill its promise to the people of Texas, and yet it rolls over - defers to federal authority. Does that sound Texan to you?

The cowboys are dead, y'all. The heroes are too afraid of lawsuits and media criticism.