Up until very recently, women have had something to prove. Adriane, it
sounds like your mom is a perfect example of this, with her comments about
planning dinner and diploma-hanging. Women have had to compete "in a man's
world" and tap the "glass ceiling" and all that jazz. But more and more,
we're realizing that we don't have to prove ourselves to men - or to anyone.


If you think that your job is the most important thing in your life, fine.
But let me warn you, having children changes every single thing in your
world. Everything you thought you knew changes. Every decision you thought
you made is null and void. I'm not telling you that you'll want to stay home
with your kids. I'm just saying that you won't be able to make that decision
until your kids exist.

Am I proud of my hard-won Amherst education? Yes. My beautiful diploma hangs
in my office at home. Do I think it was a waste? Not at all - it will make
me a better mother.

If your job lights you on fire, if it's something you're truly passionate
about, then you can strike a balance. Because your children will
light you on fire. You will be passionate about them, and if you
can't muster the same enthusiasm for your work, you can't balance them.

I thought I'd be fine going back to work. But the first day I dropped Tyler
off with Iretha, I sobbed like a child for hours. I would give anything to
be a full-time mom, but finances prohibit it. I like my job, it's fine, but
I don't love it nearly as much as I do my baby. And raising children is no
picnic. It is a 24/7 job - but it's the most important work you'll ever do.